10 Ways to Turn Around a Bad Day

“I really need you to get your room clean,” I say with all the patience I can muster.  “We've been up for 2 hours and none of us even have our beds made yet.  If you would quit arguing with your brother about whose stuff is out and just get to work we could get a lot more done around here.”

Crash!  “Wahhhh!!!!”

“Oh no; what was that?!”

Someone was standing on a kitchen chair, trying to come up with a snack for themselves.  Now we've got a jar of spilled coconut oil dripping all over the floor along with a crying toddler who slipped and fell in it.

“Okay.  Breathe.  It's no big deal.  It's just life.  Let me just go to the bathroom real quick so I can think and then I'll get this cleaned up.”

“Seriously?!  The toilet is clogged!  Somebody put a whole roll of toilet paper in here!”

“Okay.  Okay.  I've really got to get the baby's diaper changed before I do anything else.  She's been waiting  too long already.”

“Mom!  I'm hungry!” “Don't go in the kitchen!  There's still oil on the floor!”

And on and on it goes!

This is not an actual day's events, but it is a 100% accurate representation of some of the days we have at our house.

“Unbelievable.”  I've told my husband many times.  “You would not even believe it if I told you how today went.”

Can you relate?

Do you have days when kids are bickering, babies are crying, and messes are being created faster than you can clean them up?

Do you ever feel like you're are doing your dead-level best to hold it together, but it seems like the whole world is in a conspiracy to send you over the edge?

Do you feel like the harder you try to get back on track, the worse the day seems to go?

Frustrated would be a very mild description of how I'm feeling on those days.

What I've found is that sometimes the best answer is just to completely re-organize my day.  The attitude of both my children and myself can sometimes be an indicator that we all just need to take a break.

So when I just can't seem to get those kids cleaning their rooms or keep them from getting into mischief every time I turn my back, I try one (or all!) of the following:

1. Turn on the music

Soothing music works wonders for helping bad attitudes.  It's helps me calm down when I'm frazzled, and it helps the kids calm down too.

2. Go Outside

Sometimes we all just need a change of scenery.  When the kids get too much energy inside and they start letting it out in not-so-good ways, take 'em outside and let 'em run!

3. Laugh

The Bible says “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”.  So when everyone is out of sorts, create some intentional laughter!  Tell a joke, watch a funny video, or get everyone to do their best monkey impression.

4. Create a haven

As much as we'd all like to have a perfectly clean house all the time, that's simply not reality.  But if you or your children are the type that start to feel uptight when things are disorderly, a haven can help you breathe and calm down.  Have one area of your house that you keep clean no matter what and go there when you're feeling frazzled and out of sorts.  (Mine is the master bedroom.)

5. Snuggle up with a book

Sometimes your children just want you.  When they're being ornery, try gathering up everyone on the bed and reading out loud to them.  It just might be exactly what they need.

6. Eat a snack

Is it possible people are in a bad mood because they're hungry?  Feed everyone a high protein snack and see if they feel a little better.

7. Intentional gratitude

Sometimes we feel grumpy just because we're focused on the wrong things.  Instead of counting our blessings, we're counting all the things that we don't like.  Make it a point to stop and name 3 blessings to intentionally put your mind in the right place.

8.  Intentional loving words

A lot of times children are acting out because they want some attention.  Stop and say some loving words and extend some hugs or tickles.  It's better to give positive attention to let children know they are loved than to give negative attention through punishment.

9. Get everyone on the same team

Instead of you being the boss and trying to get your children to take orders, think of ways to help them understand that you are a team.  Sometimes I will set the kitchen timer and say “Hey kids!  It's us against the timer!  Let's see if we can all the dishes cleared and put in the dishwasher before the timer goes off.  If we win, we all get a chocolate candy!”

10. Let go of expectations

When you can tell it's one of “those days”, you need to be willing to drop your big plans.  You'll enjoy your day a lot more if you just drop everything and go outside with the kids than if you keep trying to pull the day together. Just give it up and you'll be a lot less stressed.

What do you think?  Have you used any of these strategies in the past to successfully turn around a bad day?  Do you have any other tricks up your sleeve that weren't mentioned here?

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A Child Left to Himself

Do you know what the rest of that verse says, sweet mama?

…a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.  (Proverbs 29:15)

I've always had the idea that this would be a child who rebelled in his teen years or as a young adult — a child who chooses the wrong friends and gets into very obviously shameful things like drugs or immorality. I'm sure those scenarios are a big part of what that verse is talking about. When you don't intentionally train your children to do right you will have a lot of heartache when they are older.

But I'm learning that this verse very much applies to the little years too.

If you are distracted, your child will find all manner of ways to bring you to shame. Not only can they destroy your clean house in a matter of minutes, they can in turn wreak havoc on your disposition and you will end up ashamed at the way you reacted to their childish antics.

Although I am aware that young children need constant (and I mean constant!) supervision, I am definitely not perfect. I have improved greatly in this area of motherhood, but I gave into the temptation of distraction this morning.

I was in the middle of some computer work when the kids started getting up. I wanted to get to a good stopping place and they were quietly eating breakfast so I stayed at the computer and tried to finish up.

The problem was that one of my children wasn't actually eating his usual, approved breakfast of fruit and yogurt.

He was making himself a protein shake complete with milk, protein powder, cheese, and apple butter.  (What in the world?)

And it was a mess.

When I discovered his breakfast I admit I was not exactly happy.

I could feel myself getting worked up, so I sent us both to our rooms before I said something I would regret.

I wanted time to calm down before I dealt with the issue because I knew I would not think rationally if I dealt with it at that moment.

My feelings were a mix of irritation that he would mess with ingredients he knows he shouldn't and frustration at myself for allowing this to happen at all.

Although he was at fault since he knew he wasn't even allowed in the pantry, I was at fault as well for being a distracted mom.

And it brought me to shame.  

I was ashamed because it shouldn't have happened.  I was ashamed because I did not react with the gentleness that my children need.

So what's a mom to do when her children left to themselves bring their mother to shame?

I see that we have 3 choices in that instance, and only one of them is the right one.

1. We can feel guilty.

But here's the thing.  Sometimes these incidents should have been avoided.  Clear instructions have been given and the child did not follow them.  As mothers, we can't micromanage every area of our child's life. They will never learn personal responsibility that way and we will drive ourselves crazy too.
And if the child's antics should have been avoided had we not been distracted, what good is beating ourselves up about it going to do (other than make our already sour mood even darker?)

2. We can blame the child.

He's been told what to do/what not to do and he didn't do it!
Yes mama, that's true.  But he's a child.  He messes up.  He forgets.  He willfully disobeys.  (Hmm…that sounds a lot like us adults, doesn't it?  Why are we surprised when our children mess up too?)
So maybe your child disobeyed and it created a big mess.  That simply means it's time for some more teaching and training and maybe some rational discipline.  Stewing over how disobedient your child is only makes you feel angry at him, and it definitely doesn't fix the problem.

3. We can use it as a wake up call.

This is where you use that “mom guilt” for good.  Sometimes when we feel guilty, it's because we know we really did mess things up.  (When you're done with this post, go back and read this post.)

But instead of pouting about what a failure we are, we should simply get up and change what needs to be changed.

{Listen to me, I completely understand that your kids will sometimes get into mischief even when you're being the most diligent, undistracted mom in the world.  (A mom's gotta use the bathroom sometime, right?  And kids are super fast!)  This is not about making you feel like it's your fault every single time your child makes a mess.  I hope I've made that clear enough by what I've already said.}

But I want to share some practical tips for trying to avoid those situations as much as possible.  (Because…let's be honest…having Sharpie drawings all over the couch never puts you in a good mood.)

Keep small children with you all day.

When children are very young, they are explorers.  Everything is a new adventure to them.  They are not trying to be destructive, but they are.  They see how pretty the crayon looks on the paper; they just have to find out what it looks like on the wall.  And if you're out of the room that's exactly what they will do.  You're going to have to make sure they stay in your sight all day long or something unfortunate is going to happen.

Give older children limited time away from your eyes, gradually adding more as they mature.

The older children get, the more they learn what is appropriate and what is not.  But that doesn't stop them from being curious.  (And sometimes the things they are curious about are very…um…surprising.  I could tell you some stories.)  So when they are in their room alone for quiet time, make sure you have…

…constant awareness of where they are and what they're doing.

You really do have to have eyes in the back of your head! Some moms are better at this than others, but we can all get better with practice.  We have to make it a habit to be constantly checking on them.

Make sure they know where they're supposed to be and what they're supposed to be doing.

If you've got a phone call to make, don't just shut your door and hope for the best.  Make a plan ahead of time.  Get toddlers and preschoolers set up with an independent activity that will keep them occupied productively.  Give your older children a specific place to be with a specific thing to do.  I prefer to put them in a room with a door that shuts and tell them they may not come out until I come get them when I'm done on the phone.

Keep obviously damaging or dangerous objects inaccessible to them.

I know, I know.  Toddlers will still find a way to climb to the highest shelf to find the scissors.  But you should at least try.  At our house markers, scissors, and other craft supplies stay in a locked cabinet.  It's not a pretty sight if they have free access to them.  Things that could be dangerous (like medicine) are also in a locked cabinet.

Don't let them get bored.

Children don't like to be bored, so they will get…um…very…creative.  (Again, I could tell you stories.)

If they're wandering around aimlessly, it's time to check and make sure all their chores are done.  If their work is done and you are going to let them have free time, they should be able to tell you specifically what they are going to do.  “Play” can mean a lot of things to a child, but “color a picture”, “read a book”, or “play dress up” are much more definitive and will keep them from exercising their “creative” skills so much.  (I'm not bashing creativity, by the way.  It just needs to be channeled into something more like making a fort than decorating their walls with blueberry juice. — Like I said, I can tell you stories. 🙂 )

So there you have it, mama – the how and why of being un-distracted and vigilant when it comes to mothering your children.

Let's work to create the good habit of awareness even amongst the work we have to get done so that our children are not left to themselves.

7 Reasons We’re Using a Video Class for Homeschool Bible

When I posted my list of curriculum choices at the beginning of this school year, I noted that we would be doing a streaming video class from BJU Press Distance Learning for Bible class.

Now I want to give you my reasons for choosing to go this route and how a video curriculum benefits our homeschool.

I have moved all of my homeschooling posts to christianhomeschoolfamily.com. You can go here to read this post at the new site.”

Are Store Brand Diapers Really Worth It?

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Dollar General. All opinions are 100% mine.

I'm a really frugal person.  I always look for the best deal on everything, comparing prices plus quality.

When I was asked if I would try some of Dollar General's baby products and see how I thought they compared to the name brands I was eager to accept the challenge.

I was skeptical to be honest, but certainly willing to give store brand products a fair shot.

A lot of times store brand diapers are not nearly as good quality and are more trouble than they're worth.  I also wanted to see if they were any cheaper than what I would buy in bulk.

I used to be quite the coupon mom, scoring packs of diapers for pennies on the dollar by working the deals.  As we've added more and more children to our household, I've had to come to grips with the fact that the time investment was just not worth it.  I started buying diapers in bulk from Amazon instead since that was the cheapest I could get them per diaper.

So my little foray into Dollar General found me looking at packages of diapers and once again comparing which package would get me the lowest price per diaper.

I selected a package and took it home to try out on my little munchkin.  I was surprised to find that the quality of the diapers seemed not just okay but actually…good.

I let her go longer than usual between changes just to see how it would hold up and I was even more impressed.  The diaper was still comfortable on her (well as comfortable as I'd think a diaper could be) and had no signs of starting to come apart under the weight of its being full.

But here is where my real skepticism came into play.

“Okay, so I know the quality of these diapers is pretty good, and this is what I would grab if I had to make an emergency run to the store because they're definitely the cheapest I could get at Dollar General.  But is this the cheapest I can get quality diapers period?  Or will my buy-it-in-bulk prices still beat them out?”

All I had to do was do a quick check over at Amazon to see which diapers came up the cheapest per diaper.  (Amazon seems to be pretty good at showing the packs with the lowest price per diaper first.)  I unashamedly switch around brands based on whichever is cheapest when I need to order.

The name brand diapers in size 5 came out to right around 19 cents per diaper.  How did the Dollar General brand compare?  Roughly 19 cents per diaper.

So, knowing that the quality of the Dollar General brand diapers was every bit as good if not better than the name brands and that the price was pretty much exactly the same, let me once again ask myself the question, “Are store brand diapers really worth it?”

I would have to say “Yes.  Yes they are.”

• They are the same price as the cheapest name brand diapers on Amazon.
• The name brands definitely vary in quality, and usually the cheapest ones are the lowest quality.
• Therefore I am getting better quality by buying Dollar General brand at the same exact price.
• (Bonus: Dollar General offers digital coupons and sometimes a coupon for their store brand diapers comes up, making the price even less!)

I have never been one to care about brand names.  Who cares what brand it has on it as long as it works?

I honestly have to say that I am surprised.  I really thought that the price would be higher on the store brand diapers.  I was sure I'd be able to get diapers much cheaper by buying them in bulk.  I was wrong. And I can definitely see myself buying Dollar General brand again.

I guess you learn something new every day. 🙂

Interested in trying Dollar General brand diapers (or giving another baby product a try?) Be sure to browse through the digital coupons first! Click to Save on baby essentials with Dollar General!

God’s Love is Like a Circle – Free Printable Valentines for Christian Kids

Every Valentines Day I try to come up with something my kids can give to their friends that doesn't include candy.  

I'm not crazy about my kids having tons of candy, so I figure it would be a little hypocritical to hand it out to everyone else.

This year's idea hit me super early one morning when I should have been sleeping, so I hopped out of bed and put these together.  

I specifically wanted some tags that would fit on a standard Ziploc bag since I always have those on hand.  

(If you don't know the song it's sung to the tune of "Stand up, Stand up for Jesus".)

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Awesome!  I love connecting with others who are passionate about teaching their children the love of Christ! CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE VALENTINES.

I found a huge bag of bouncy balls on Amazon for about 10 bucks.  There were plenty to give each child several balls.  (Note: make sure that parents are aware that you have given these to their child as they could be a choking hazard.)  Here is the bag of balls that I bought:

Bouncy Balls - Colorful Bright Solid Color High Bouncing Balls Bulk - 100pcs 2.7cm

More Valentine's Day goodies you might like:

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Do I Really Love My Family?

"Mom, my legs hurt.  Can you rub them?"

"Ugh," I thought to myself.  "I don't want to! He's gotta be faking anyway.  He just wants to stay up.  I'm sooo tired and I'm already half asleep.  He just needs to go back to bed."

​But I heard a whisper in my soul.  "What is love?"

• Is love serving my family only when I feel like it?​
• Is love taking care of my own desires and fitting in other people when it's convenient?
• Is love doing the things for my kids that make me happy and ignoring the rest?

I knew the answer.

"Come here, bud.  Mommy's legs used to hurt like that sometimes when I was young too.  You must be growing."  And I rubbed and rubbed those little legs until not only was my little boy happy, but I was happy too.

"It truly is more blessed to give than to receive."​

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I don't know why I'm so selfish.  But I am.  It's one thing to say that I love my family.  It's another thing to show it by my actions.

The Bible sure does have a lot to say about what real love is and it has nothing to do with what makes me happy.

I find that to truly love my family I must:

• Serve them  (Galatians 5:13)
• Lay down my life for them (John 15:13)
• Be longsuffering and patient with their mistakes (I Corinthians 13:4)
• Be kind to them (I Corinthians 13:4)
• ​Not allow little things to get under my skin (I Corinthians 13:5)
• Die to my own desires (I Corinthians 13:5)
• Treat them the way I want to be treated myself (Mark 12:31)

We may say "I love my family!" but I think what we often mean by that phrase is this: "My family makes me happy!  They are so precious!  My kids make me smile, and my husband is so good to me!"

How subtle!  Loving our family is often all about us and we don't even realize it.  Look at how many me's and my's are in the statements above!

Loving our family has nothing to do with how they make us feel and everything to do with laying down our lives daily for them.

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Granted, selfless service generally creates an atmosphere of peace.  Our families will generally reciprocate to some extent and we probably will feel happy.  But what if that doesn't happen?  

We are still called to love - to sacrifice and to die to ourselves.​

So whenever you catch a glimpse of your "I love my family!" bumper sticker, ask yourself,  "Do I really love my family?" 

I guarantee it won't be a one time decision.  It's a day-by-day, moment-by-moment choice to lay aside all that pleases ourselves in order to serve others.

But it's a choice you won't regret.  It truly is more blessed to give than to receive.

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