If you've read this blog for any length of time (or even if you just look at the name!) you can tell that homemaking doesn't exactly display my strong points.
Sadly, that includes cooking.
I certainly enjoy eating, but cooking I do not. When I post a recipe, you can be guaranteed it's going to be easy. If I can do it, anybody can.
However, there has been one simple thing that has really upped my cooking game of late. I can actually fry an egg and keep the yolk runny. I can cook a pan of oatmeal and keep it from sticking to the bottom of the pan.
And I didn't even have to learn any new cooking techniques.
Want to know my secret?
Non-stick pans.
Gasp! Don't you write about healthy living sometimes? And aren't those supposed to be toxic?
Yes, Teflon pans, although extremely convenient, contain toxic chemicals that can be terribly harmful to the human body.
However, there are several companies who are now manufacturing non-stick ceramic pans. These particular pans do not contain harmful chemicals but are every bit as convenient as other types of non-stick pans.
My dear husband, for some strange reason, decided to buy me a set of them for Christmas. (Perhaps he was tired of eating half-burnt food?)
I didn't realize just how much I loved them until I cooked something in one of my old stainless steel pans the other day. Oh my goodness! It was such a challenge to keep the food from sticking, burning, and just being generally nasty. (One at which I wasn't terribly successful.)
I don't even have to think about it anymore with these new pans. They're making cooking so much easier for me.
And they are saving me tons of clean-up time too! I hardly even have to wash the pans. The food fragments practically slide right out of them. A little courtesy swish with a rag is all I need and I'm done!
I can't say anything about other brands that are out there, but this is the brand my husband bought me.
It's one of the cheapest brands available, but I'm extremely happy with it.
I will say that I've been very careful with it so that I don't scratch the non-stick coating. It has several instructions that must be followed, such as:
If you're not the greatest cook in the world, I would definitely suggest getting yourself a set of these! They have made a huge difference for me, and I know they will help you out too!
We've explored some things children should not be allowed to say to adults, but have you considered the way you speak to your children?
“But I'm the parent! I can say what I want!”
Yes, you are the parent, but the Biblical commands to “be kind one to another” and to let our “speech be always with grace” do not exclude the way we speak to our children. The Proverbs 31 woman opened her mouth with the law of kindness, and I don't doubt for a minute that included the way she spoke to her children.
1. Please.
“Wait. Back up. I'm the parent. They're the kid. I tell them what they're going to do; I don't ask them.”
While children should be expected to obey when they're given a command, I don't think that necessarily means parents need to give commands by simply barking orders. “Son, would you please unload the dishwasher?” sounds so much more pleasant than “Go unload the dishwasher!”
Now, it's important to understand that asking it as a question does not mean that saying “No I won't unload the dishwasher” is an option. My children know that “Please unload the dishwasher” means “Go unload the dishwasher” and that the correct answer is “‘Yes, ma'am, I sure will,” but it just makes the atmosphere of our home more pleasant than barking orders all the time. Sometimes the situation or the attitudes of my kids call for things to be phrased as a direct command, and there is definitely a place for a more no-nonsense approach, but that doesn't have to be the case every time you need them to do something.
By saying please to your child you are recognizing that they are a person who is deserving of just as much respect as anyone else. When all you ever do is bark orders it becomes easy to turn your children into your personal servants. “Pick up that piece of paper I dropped.” “Go put my glass in the sink.” They're your children and need to obey, but they're not your slaves.
2. Thank you.
Just as you should show respect to your kids by saying please, you should teach them how to be grateful to others by showing your gratefulness to them. When your child does something to help around the house, even if it's something you told him to do, thank him for it. Don't you enjoy doing things for others much more when you're thanked for your efforts? You teach your children how to appreciate what others do for them when you show appreciation for what they do at home. Thank your child for a job he's done and see how much more motivated he'll be next time you need him to do something!
3. You're special.
You don't have to use this exact phrase, but every child should know that they are valuable to you. You can show them this by the time you spend with them, but you should also be verbalizing it. Some of the things I say to let my kids know they're special to me:
“You're my favorite 5-year-old!” “I don't know what I'd do without you!” “You're my little princess/prince.” I also have various terms of endearment for each child that I use regularly.
I also like to sing songs to them like “You are my sunshine” or goofy little made-up stuff that I'll spare letting you hear. 🙂
4. Good job.
Again, you don't have to use these exact words, but there is hardly a greater motivation for a child to do what he's supposed to do than to hear his parents verbally express that he did a good job at something. I have one child in particular who thrives on this type of praise, and I simply can't overdo it. When I tell him how happy I am that he finished his dinner without complaining or that he did his best cleaning his room instead of stuffing things in the closet, he absolutely glows! I look for as many things as I can, no matter how tiny, to praise him for. And the more I do it, the more motivated he is to keep on doing what's right.
On the other hand, some children won't see everything they've done as a big deal. Be sensitive to the personality of each individual child. As an extreme example, don't embarrass your twelve-year-old by telling him what a great job he did eating his dinner without spilling it on the floor. Find the things that you know your child worked hard to accomplish and make those into a big deal.
5. I'm sorry.
Try as we might, parents, the reality is we sometimes (more often than we'd like) mess up. You know what's worse than messing up? Not admitting that we've messed up. Your child knows when you've messed up. He knows you're not perfect. So it will mean a lot to him for you to say “I'm sorry I got upset and yelled at you. That wasn't the right way for me to handle the situation. Will you forgive me?” Your credibility with your child will be ten times greater than it would be if you tried to ignore what you did wrong.
6. I love you.
Every child in the world should hear this phrase at least once a day. Unfortunately many don't, and that doesn't only include children living in orphanages or those living in the slums who are passed from caregiver to caregiver. Don't just show your kids you love them; tell them! These words are something every child craves!
Materials:
2 1/2 cups Epsom Salt
8-10 drops Lavender Essential Oil
Purple food coloring
Funnel
(5) 4 oz. Jars
Directions:
Pour the Epsom salt into a mixing bowl, and break up any lumps. To tint your salts (optional) add a few drops at a time of the food coloring and stir to combine.The more drops you use, the more saturated the color will be. Add 8-10 drops of lavender essential oils to the salts and mix. Use the funnel to pour the salts into the jars, then seal tightly.
Working from home with small children can be a challenge! It can be hard to keep the balance between giving them the time and attention they need and accomplishing other things that need to be done.
To make it work for me, I work only early in the morning before the kids are up and during their nap time. The older ones don't always need a real nap, but they have quiet time every day.
Even though I was working while they were in bed, it was still a challenge sometimes because I needed to get up and keep checking on them. There was lots of coloring on the walls, eating of hidden candy stashes, throwing tangerines at the walls (yes, really!), and general commotion that was waking up their baby sister. It's hard to focus on getting anything done when there are interruptions the entire time!
Enter the video monitor! I can get them down for naps or quiet time, then sit down to work while keeping an eye on everybody without getting up from my computer.
The Levana Stella monitor that I am using comes with two cameras, so I was able to put one in both the boys' room and the girls' room.
If something is going on, I don't have to get up; I can simply press the “talk” button on the monitor and remind them that they need to calm down.
I love being able to do more while knowing the baby is safe from tangerine-throwing kids!
Commitment to baby safety is Levana's number one priority. To allow them to focus on perfecting the products, Levana exclusively manufactures baby monitors. In 2002, Levana launched the first-ever wireless handheld baby video monitor, and ever since they have been producing baby monitors with state-of-the-art features like:
Check out their Facebook page to find out more.
You can purchase the Stella monitor like I have right here.
What are your best tips for working from home with small children in the house?
To help you do more, Levana is giving one reader a Keera Video Monitor that includes 2 cameras. To enter, just follow the instructions on the widget below.
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Levana. The opinions and text are all mine.
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One of the most important things I want my children to learn is to respect authority. They will never learn to be obedient to God if they cannot first learn to be obedient to the adults God has placed over them. For that reason, we are very careful to ensure they are being respectful when speaking to adults who are in authority over them.
This is not about being a drill sergeant; this is about helping your child understand his or her proper role in life. Everyone has authorities, even adults, and teaching children to submit to those authorities from an early age will help them their entire life. If your child has a hard time respecting authority now, what will he do when he has his first job and he doesn't want to do what his boss says? You're not doing your child any favors by allowing him to do and say whatever he wants to his authorities.
Here are six things my children are not allowed to say to adults:
(Note: adults here means those that mom and dad have authorized to be over our child. I don't expect my child to just mindlessly do something just because a random adult told him he had to. Teaching children who to obey and when to obey is an important topic too!)
Also, before you read any further, let me stop and say that this is in no way meant to encourage a rule-based, break-your-child's-spirit parenting philosophy. I think a lot of people are interpreting it that way. PLEASE don't parent your kids based on a set of rules. That is dangerous, and a sure-fire way to make sure your kids end up either 1. not knowing how to think for themselves or 2. rebelling against authority. Christian parents must focus on the heart of the matter, treat their children respectfully, show them their love by their actions, and treat their children with gentleness.
However, God has placed you and other adults (teachers, policemen, babysitters, etc.) as authorities in your child's life and God himself commanded children to obey and honor their parents. We as adults are commanded by God to obey our authorities too. The following list is an idea of how that plays out in day-to-day life — again, it's not a set of rules. Being respectful just means properly relating to the authorities that are over them.
Since there have been so many concerns from people who are looking at this through so many lenses (different life experiences, etc.), I'm updating this with specific examples rather than just making these things seem like a blanket statement. Let me say it one more time — this isn't about setting unrealistic expectations and then punishing your child when he doesn't meet them. Nor is it about making certain words taboo. This is about training your children in the proper way to relate to the adults who are over them. It's not the words themselves that are the problem; it's the attitude behind them. A child could just as easily display the same attitude using a different set of words, which is why it always, always comes back to dealing with the heart issues and not just requiring them to conform to an external set of do's and don'ts.
(For more help with teaching children WHY they should obey, I recommend this amazing study by my friend Kim, called Because I Said So. You won't regret going through it with them!)
Okay, so with all that behind us, here we go…
1. “No.”
This is the ultimate defiance toward authority — when a child outright says they will not do what they've been told to do. Just today, one of my boys playfully said “No” when I told him to do something, but went immediately to do it. I stopped him and instructed him that he is never to say “No” to an adult, even in jest. I don't even want him to get comfortable saying it to me or any other authority. It will make it that much easier to say it and mean it if he is allowed to get in the habit of saying it at all. (Update: it seems many are concerned about instances in which a child may find himself being touched inappropriately, asked to go somewhere, etc. That is an entirely different topic, and I DO firmly believe children need to be taught how to handle these situations. They need to know they will never be in trouble with mom and dad for protecting their personal privacy however it needs to be done – including saying no to an adult. For purposes of this post, I am merely talking about instances in which an adult gives a legitimate command; my child is not allowed to tell them no.)
Example:
Me: “Johnny, you need to pick up the toys now.”
Johnny: “No!” (continues playing)
Um…that is a problem.
Me: “Son, when mommy tells you to do something, you don't tell me no. What does God say children are supposed to do?”
Johnny: “Obey their parents.”
Me: “So if you disobey mommy and daddy, who are you disobeying?”
Johnny: “God.”
Me: “That's right. So why should you obey?”
Johnny: “Because God says it's right.”
Me: “For that reason, I cannot allow you to tell me no. I cannot allow you to disobey God by disobeying mommy. Why don't we try this again?”
2.” Just a minute.”
When I tell my kids to do something, I expect them to obey immediately. As one teacher of mine used to say, “Slow obedience is no obedience.” Waiting until they're done with their book, building block tower, or whatever else they're doing is not an option. (They may, however, ask “May I finish this book I'm reading?” Sometimes the answer is yes! Sometimes their help is immediately needed and I must decline their request. If that's the case, they are expected to say “Yes ma'am” and get to work.)
Example:
Me: “Son, I need you to come unload the dishwasher.”
Son: “Just a minute.”
That is not obedience. But maybe he is finishing the chapter in his book. So I teach him, “If you're wanting to finish something you're doing, you need to ask me rather than saying ‘Just a minute.' Let's try it, okay?”
Me: “Son, I need you to come unload the dishwasher.”
Son: “May I finish the chapter in my book first?”
Me: “Sure, but make sure you come straight to the kitchen when you're done.”
Now, sometimes the answer may be, “I'm sorry, I really need your help right away. You'll have to finish your chapter later.”
Either way, he is being respectful to his mother by asking, and I have kept him from feeling oppressed by at least hearing his request.
3. “Yeah.”
Opinions on this may vary depending on your geographical location, but where I'm from, it is incredibly disrespectful to answer any adult with anything but “Yes ma'am”; “Yes sir”; “No ma'am”; and “No Sir”. My kids will definitely be corrected if they answer with a flippant “Yeah” in response to any question. If I lived in an area where yes ma'am an no ma'am are not the culturally respectful way to address adults, I would still teach my children to address their authorities with a respectful tone of voice.
Example: (age 2-3 or whenever they are first being taught)
Me: “Did you put your toys away?”
Child: “Yeah.”
Me: “When mommy asks you a question, you need to answer with ‘Yes, ma'am. Let's try it, okay?”
Me: “Did you put you toys away?”
Child: “Yes, ma'am”
Me: “Good job! You remembered to answer the right way!”
Example (older child who has already been taught):
Me: “Is your room cleaned up?”
Child: “Yeah.”
Me: “Why don't you try that again?”
Child: “Yes, ma'am”
Me: “There you go.”
You see how this works? It's not a “GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE BRAT!” type of attitude that you're going for. It's a gentle teaching of how to respectfully relate to adults. When you work on these things in your home with mom and dad, they will come naturally to your child when he interacts with other adults. You will most likely still have to do some reminding, but you will still do it the same way you do at home. It's pro-active teaching and gentle reminding, not unrealistic expectations and unreasonable punishment.
4. “I don't want to.”Example:
Me: “Son, please sweep the kitchen floor.”
Child: “I don't want to.”
Me: “I'm sorry. We don't always get to do exactly what we want to do. You're part of this family and we all have to do chores to help things work around here. I don't really want to make supper, but I do it because it's part of what needs to be done. We can't always choose what we have to do, but we can choose our attitude. So why don't we both do our work together and think of something we can be thankful for at the same time?”
5. “I don't like this.”
It kind of cracks me up that there are so many articles online about how to deal with picky eaters. In our house, it's really easy. It goes like this: “Too bad.” If they're hungry enough, they'll eat what is set before them. If not, it goes into the fridge and they can have it again at the next meal. It won't take long before they decide to eat their green beans after all. But eating what they don't like isn't the main issue here. (Practical advice about how to deal with that here.)
The main issue is that they are not to express dislike for their meal. (If they want to respectfully let me know that green beans gross them out, that is one thing. But whining about their food is a different matter. I think you can picture the two different attitudes.) That is disrespectful to whoever took the time to cook for them. They need to learn gratefulness whether the food is their favorite or not. I do, however, think that parents can be respectful to their child as a person. You don't need to give a huge portion of something your child obviously does not like and force them to eat it all. But I will not make a separate meal for them. There are children who didn't get to eat anything today — and I mean that in all seriousness. My children need to be thankful they have something to put into their bellies rather than expressing disgust because they didn't get what they wanted.
Example #1:
Johnny: “I don't like casserole! I wanted chicken!” (in a whiny voice)
Me: “I'm sorry, but that's not what we're having tonight. Mommy will make chicken some other time, but tonight we need to eat this. Did you know that some children didn't even get to eat today? Let's thank God that we have some food to eat.”
Example #2:
Johnny: “Mom, these green beans are making me feel like I'm going to gag.” (you can tell he really is about to gag)
Me: “Ok, thank you for trying one bite at least. You can have some extra salad and you don't have to finish your beans.”
You see how this goes? It's not “EAT IT OR ELSE, EVEN IF YOU'RE GAGGING – MWAHAHA!” It's “I'm not making a separate meal for you just because you wanted chicken.” It's “Let's choose to be grateful instead of whining when we don't get exactly what we want.”
6. Nothing.
When an adult speaks to my children, hiding behind mama and refusing to speak is not acceptable behavior. I understand that some children are shy, and I'm not advocating overlooking their personality traits. However, out of respect for adults, they need to learn to speak when spoken to. A good way to teach them this is to practice at home before you are in a public situation. Pretend you are another adult and say things to your child things like “How are you?” “What is your name?” and “That's a very pretty dress you're wearing!” Then coach your child how to respond and have them practice doing it. Getting comfortable with this at home will greatly help them when they are in public.
Example:
Adult: “Hi Susie. That's a nice dress you have on!”
Susie: (silence)
Me: “Susie, can you tell Mrs. Jones thank you?”
Susie: (silence)
Now, at this point, there are different ways people might deal with this. Some parents will make Susie stand there until she speaks, which makes Susie and Mrs. Jones both embarrassed.
We choose to let it go at that point and do some more practice at home in the way I mentioned above, while also explaining to Susie after the ordeal that it was rude not to speak to Mrs. Jones.
I am excited to be part of the launch team for the book Motivate Your Child: A Christian Parent's Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told.
I haven't had a lot of time to read through it yet, but the little bit I have read has already given me much food for thought. (In fact, I've been putting it into practice and have already seen some great results in my hard-to-reach little guy!) I've been reading a preview copy online, and I can't wait to get my hard copy in the mail so I can start highlighting it and making notes in it!
And I have something special for you too!
To celebrate the release of Motivate Your Child: A Christian Parent's Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told, members of the Launch Team are sharing a wonderful giveaway filled with a Go Pro Camera, $50 Mardel Gift Card, $25 Amazon Gift Card, and book bundles from both the National Center for Biblical Parenting and Thomas Nelson Publishing! Three winners will win prizes with a total value of nearly $800!
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The Christian Parenting Handbook and Companion Guide
Hero Training Camp Children's Curriculum
The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson
Say Goodbye to Survival Mode by Crystal Paine
All Pro Dad by Mark Merrill
The Passionate Mom by Susan Merrill
The Christian Parenting Handbook and Companion Guide
Hero Training Camp Children's Curriculum
The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson
Say Goodbye to Survival Mode by Crystal Paine
All Pro Dad by Mark Merrill
The Passionate Mom by Susan Merrill
To enter, use the Rafflecopter below. Giveaway dates: January 12, 2015 @12:00am ET through January 28, 2015 @ 11:59pm ET
Terms and Conditions: This giveaway is open to U.S. residents only. Void where prohibited by law. Must be at least 18 years of age. This giveaway is in no away associated with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, or Amazon. No purchase necessary for entry. Odds are determined by the number of entries. Selected winner will have 48 hours to respond to email notification to claim their prize or another winner will be drawn.
