5 Steps to Stress Free Potty Training
When I was potty training my first child, it was one of the hardest, most stressful things I ever did. (A lot of things were that way with my first! I had so much to figure out – poor little guy had a mom who had no clue what she was doing!)
I learned a lot of things that first time around that have made potty training all the others a MUCH less stressful experience! When I was contacted about writing a sponsored post for CVS Training Pants I knew it would be a great time to share some of the things I have learned over the course of potty training 4 children!
Here are some of my best tips for a stress-free potty training experience:
1. Relax! Your child will be potty trained before they graduate from high school 🙂 If you are uptight, your child will sense that, and it will only make it stressful for them too!
2. Let your child lead. Watch for them to be interested in sitting on the potty. If they buck at the idea, back off and try again at another time. Trying to force it will not work! It's fine to try to get your child excited – say things like ” Do you want to go on the potty like a big girl/boy?” but don't make them if they don't want to. They will want to sooner or later.
3. Make it easy to go potty. You can either have a separate potty seat for them, or use a toilet seat that has a toddler seat attached to it. (This is what we use, along with a stool in the bathroom where they can easily climb onto the toilet – it eliminates messy potty seat cleanup which equals less stress for mom!)
Our toddler potty seat – the adult seat is underneath
Also, be sure to have loose fitting clothing for your child so they can get their pants down easily. I often find that if I am laid back about potty training rather than trying to force my time table onto them, I will find my child in the bathroom going potty on their own! This can't happen, though, if they can't get their pants down by themselves.
4. Choose the method that works for you. You'll find lots of different potty training methods and ideas, and all of them will claim that this is the way to do it! But don't force yourself into a certain method just because you feel that's the way you're supposed to do it. For instance, I use the “underwear method” where I just let my kids go straight from diapers to underwear. I feel like it helps them get the hang of how it feels to go to the bathroom a lot quicker. But some parents might actually find cleaning up messes stressful. In that case, try a different method that fits your personality better. For example, you could try putting training pants on to control the mess, but set timers for every half hour to take your child potty. (I would suggest making sure that if they go in their training pants, that you get it changed right away. You don't want to let them get comfortable with wet pants or they won't have any reason to go on the potty. CVS Training Pants have a wetness indicator that will help you visibly see from the outside whether they have wet their pants or not.)
5. Have a plan for leaving home. As I mentioned earlier, our family usually puts our children straight from diapers into underwear. But nothing says stress to me like trying to find a bathroom RIGHT NOW when your toddler has to go potty or cleaning up soiled pants when you're out and about! I make sure that if we're going anywhere I have a pair of training pants on my child. I still try to take them potty with the goal of their staying dry, but I have the peace of mind of knowing that we've got protection should we not get to the potty in time.
We were sent a package of CVS Training Pants, and it came at the perfect time! This little girl is SO interested in potty training that she cries if the church nursery workers take other kids out to go potty and they don't take her. I think that is a pretty good indication that she is ready! When we got the package of training pants in the mail, I showed them to her and she was so excited! She said, “I wear it, mommy!” and started trying to put one on immediately!
I'm glad that they have refastenable sides too, because I can definitely see her just ripping it of like she currently rips off her diaper, but I wouldn't want to waste them if she has kept them dry!
So that is how we do potty training around here! You can use these tips to make the process work for your family – either jump in right away with trying out the underwear method or take a slower, more relaxed approach by letting your child try out the potty here and there over the course of several months or weeks until they really seem excited to jump in full force. Make sure you have some training pants on hand for outings to save yourself the stress, and that's really all there is to it!
Don't overthink it, and most of all relax and have fun!
This has been a sponsored post written by me on behalf of CVS Training Pants.
Surviving Life with Kids When Your Husband Isn’t Around
A few days ago, I sent an email asking moms how they survive the long days when their husband isn't around.
We had a weekend where daddy was away, and it was hard! I was mentally high-fiving all the women who solo parent on a regular basis, whether it's because their husband is on deployment or because they're a single mom, or because their husband is away often for work.
I asked all of my readers who experience regular seasons of solo parenting for their best advice so I could share it with you!
In a nutshell, I took away 3 main pieces of advice:
Have a routine.
“Making a schedule was the best thing I could do. Whether he is home or not, we stick to our schedule and that keeps our children less apt to act out because they know what to expect.”
Almost everyone who wrote in said that their lifesaver was to have a routine that works for them. Keeping a household routine ensures that everything runs as smoothly as possible, which is a must when daddy is not there to rescue you!
Break the routine.
Huh? I know, I know. I just said that everyone was saying to stay on a routine. But, for those mamas who are blessed to have husbands who rarely have to be gone, this one was the best solution.
Because it is out of the norm for daddy to have to be away, staying on the regular routine is hard for kids. Everyone gets a little grouchy because they're missing having dad around. Putting their attention on something different and fun keeps their mind off the fact that dad is gone. For instance, one reader said:
“Sometimes he does have to work on the weekends, and sometimes he has long shifts and has a long commute. We try on those days to do things that we might not do when dad's around, such as play games (he doesn't really do boardgames and stuff), or we'll work on cleaning house or other projects to keep us busy, or maybe watch a movie to kill some time. I know he isn't gone long term, but these are things that we do. Also, one thing the kids love is to plan something special for when dad does get home, such as a special meal or other simple surprise.”
I have found this one to be the case at our house. Fun and different activities to keep everyone busy are the key!
Make time for yourself.
I was surprised at how often this answer came up, but it makes sense! Especially if you are solo parenting on a long term basis, it would be very easy to get worn down! Making self-care a priority is a must if you want to keep your sanity. (Here are 13 Free Ways to Take Care of You!)
A couple different readers said that they sometimes put the kids to bed a little early and invite a friend or two over for some snacks and adult conversation. Great idea!
Any other ideas that you would add to this list? Let's all pitch in to help struggling mamas not just survive, but to thrive in the hard days of solo parenting!
3 Mistakes Homeschooling Parents Make When Teaching Handwriting
Handwriting is an essential part of what our children need to learn. They'll be writing every single day of their lives, and it's up to us to help them develop handwriting skills to make this essential life skill easier for them!
Many times I have seen homeschooled children struggle with handwriting. I have seen a lot of homeschoolers with very messy handwriting. There are plenty of children in “regular” schools with messy handwriting too, but here are some of the mistakes that seem to be specific to homeschooling families when it comes to teaching handwriting:
I have moved all of my homeschooling posts to christianhomeschoolfamily.com. You can go here to read this post at the new site.”
The Incredible Power of a Soft Answer
We were practicing our daily memory verse when things started to fall apart. My son decided he wasn't interested in focusing on school work any more and I was trying to help him wake up his brain a little bit.
“Stand up straight and look at me,” I said quietly and gently.
“I am standing up straight!” he whined. Small tears of frustration appeared at the corners of his eyes.
“No. You're leaning on the wall.” I continued on softly. “I need you to stand up all the way and look right at me — hey, where are you going now?” I continued speaking softly and gently.
“I just want to sit down! Why can't I just sit down?!”
Our discussion continued on this way for a few more minutes. I gently explained what I needed from my son and why, as he bristled against being told what to do.
“Son, did you know that mommy doesn't tell you things just because I feel like bossing you around? I know what it feels like to want to do exactly the opposite of what your mom tells you. I felt exactly that way sometimes when I was a kid. But can you trust that I'm telling you things for a specific reason and not just because I enjoy bossing you around? If you won't make things into a big deal, I promise I won't make them into a big deal either. Okay?”
A small smile began to form around the edges of his mouth. His posture began to relax. This time when I asked him to stand up straight and look at me, he did.
We finished the rest of school day without another problem.
Now, I'm not telling you this story to make myself sound like a perfect mother — because I'm not even close. I mess up more times in a day than I'd like to admit.
But this was one of those, “Why don't I handle things like this more often?” moments.
See, here's the verse that came to my mind when the situation arose: “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)
My child was already bristling against what I was telling him to do. Now, most times I would have bristled right back at him. I would have gotten frustrated that he was turning a simple command into something far more than it needed to be, and I would have shown that frustration in my voice inflection and body language. Even if I weren't actually speaking loudly in volume, my tone of voice and my stiffened posture would not be “a soft answer.” And it would be the worst thing I could do in that situation because my lack of a soft answer would not help my child feel any more willing to do what he was told. It would make him even more defensive than he already was.
I realized in that moment that too often I let my child dictate the terms of each confrontation that arises between us. Just because he is being headstrong and childish does not mean that I need to respond with the same attitude. Doing so will only turn into a clash of wills and an ordeal that really ought not be an ordeal at all.
Why should I let my child call the shots? Why do I let his attitude determine what mine will be?
I realized the incredible power of a soft answer that day.
I also remembered another verse my husband and I had just discussed the night before:
“How forcible are right words! but what doth your arguing reprove?” (Job 6:25)
Job was responding to his friends' false accusations against him, and the point I gathered was basically this:
Right words spoken in the right way are extremely powerful. But argumentative words, or even true words spoken in an argumentative way are not going to get you anywhere with the person to whom you are speaking.
I took away a pretty powerful lesson after our little incident:
I need to choose the right words and I need to speak them in the right way.
Doing this is going to have far more power than the most forcible words and tone of voice I can muster.
No more do I need to allow my children to dictate the tone of a confrontation. It's really hard for them to bristle against someone who is speaking softly and gently. If I'm feeling too riled up inside, I need to step away until I'm ready to continue the conversation with a soft answer. If I let grievous words slip out of my mouth, the Bible says those words are going to stir up anger.
Provoking my child to wrath is something I know I shouldn't be doing as a parent, and I wouldn't purposely do it. But it never occurred to me that something as simple as using an irritated tone of voice could be doing just that.
I'm excited to see how intentionally using a soft answer will change the way I deal with my children — and change the way they respond!
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5 Reasons We’re Learning About Great Missionaries in our Homeschool
We have a two-fold goal in our homeschool:
First, to teach our children Godly character and second, to equip them with the academic skills they need for life.
Using studies of great missionaries is a great way to help meet both of those goals!
When we read missionary biographies and do more in-depth studies on those missionaries, there are 5 (at least) things that are happening with our children:
I have moved all of my homeschooling posts to christianhomeschoolfamily.com.
You can go here to read this post at the new site.
10 Ways to Turn Around a Bad Day
“I really need you to get your room clean,” I say with all the patience I can muster. “We've been up for 2 hours and none of us even have our beds made yet. If you would quit arguing with your brother about whose stuff is out and just get to work we could get a lot more done around here.”
Crash! “Wahhhh!!!!”
“Oh no; what was that?!”
Someone was standing on a kitchen chair, trying to come up with a snack for themselves. Now we've got a jar of spilled coconut oil dripping all over the floor along with a crying toddler who slipped and fell in it.
“Okay. Breathe. It's no big deal. It's just life. Let me just go to the bathroom real quick so I can think and then I'll get this cleaned up.”
“Seriously?! The toilet is clogged! Somebody put a whole roll of toilet paper in here!”
“Okay. Okay. I've really got to get the baby's diaper changed before I do anything else. She's been waiting too long already.”
“Mom! I'm hungry!” “Don't go in the kitchen! There's still oil on the floor!”
And on and on it goes!
This is not an actual day's events, but it is a 100% accurate representation of some of the days we have at our house.
“Unbelievable.” I've told my husband many times. “You would not even believe it if I told you how today went.”
Can you relate?
Do you have days when kids are bickering, babies are crying, and messes are being created faster than you can clean them up?
Do you ever feel like you're are doing your dead-level best to hold it together, but it seems like the whole world is in a conspiracy to send you over the edge?
Do you feel like the harder you try to get back on track, the worse the day seems to go?
Frustrated would be a very mild description of how I'm feeling on those days.
What I've found is that sometimes the best answer is just to completely re-organize my day. The attitude of both my children and myself can sometimes be an indicator that we all just need to take a break.
So when I just can't seem to get those kids cleaning their rooms or keep them from getting into mischief every time I turn my back, I try one (or all!) of the following:
1. Turn on the music
Soothing music works wonders for helping bad attitudes. It's helps me calm down when I'm frazzled, and it helps the kids calm down too.
2. Go Outside
Sometimes we all just need a change of scenery. When the kids get too much energy inside and they start letting it out in not-so-good ways, take 'em outside and let 'em run!
3. Laugh
The Bible says “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”. So when everyone is out of sorts, create some intentional laughter! Tell a joke, watch a funny video, or get everyone to do their best monkey impression.
4. Create a haven
As much as we'd all like to have a perfectly clean house all the time, that's simply not reality. But if you or your children are the type that start to feel uptight when things are disorderly, a haven can help you breathe and calm down. Have one area of your house that you keep clean no matter what and go there when you're feeling frazzled and out of sorts. (Mine is the master bedroom.)
5. Snuggle up with a book
Sometimes your children just want you. When they're being ornery, try gathering up everyone on the bed and reading out loud to them. It just might be exactly what they need.
6. Eat a snack
Is it possible people are in a bad mood because they're hungry? Feed everyone a high protein snack and see if they feel a little better.
7. Intentional gratitude
Sometimes we feel grumpy just because we're focused on the wrong things. Instead of counting our blessings, we're counting all the things that we don't like. Make it a point to stop and name 3 blessings to intentionally put your mind in the right place.
8. Intentional loving words
A lot of times children are acting out because they want some attention. Stop and say some loving words and extend some hugs or tickles. It's better to give positive attention to let children know they are loved than to give negative attention through punishment.
9. Get everyone on the same team
Instead of you being the boss and trying to get your children to take orders, think of ways to help them understand that you are a team. Sometimes I will set the kitchen timer and say “Hey kids! It's us against the timer! Let's see if we can all the dishes cleared and put in the dishwasher before the timer goes off. If we win, we all get a chocolate candy!”
10. Let go of expectations
When you can tell it's one of “those days”, you need to be willing to drop your big plans. You'll enjoy your day a lot more if you just drop everything and go outside with the kids than if you keep trying to pull the day together. Just give it up and you'll be a lot less stressed.
What do you think? Have you used any of these strategies in the past to successfully turn around a bad day? Do you have any other tricks up your sleeve that weren't mentioned here?
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