Surviving Life with Kids When Your Husband Isn’t Around
A few days ago, I sent an email asking moms how they survive the long days when their husband isn't around.
We had a weekend where daddy was away, and it was hard! I was mentally high-fiving all the women who solo parent on a regular basis, whether it's because their husband is on deployment or because they're a single mom, or because their husband is away often for work.
I asked all of my readers who experience regular seasons of solo parenting for their best advice so I could share it with you!
In a nutshell, I took away 3 main pieces of advice:
Have a routine.
“Making a schedule was the best thing I could do. Whether he is home or not, we stick to our schedule and that keeps our children less apt to act out because they know what to expect.”
Almost everyone who wrote in said that their lifesaver was to have a routine that works for them. Keeping a household routine ensures that everything runs as smoothly as possible, which is a must when daddy is not there to rescue you!
Break the routine.
Huh? I know, I know. I just said that everyone was saying to stay on a routine. But, for those mamas who are blessed to have husbands who rarely have to be gone, this one was the best solution.
Because it is out of the norm for daddy to have to be away, staying on the regular routine is hard for kids. Everyone gets a little grouchy because they're missing having dad around. Putting their attention on something different and fun keeps their mind off the fact that dad is gone. For instance, one reader said:
“Sometimes he does have to work on the weekends, and sometimes he has long shifts and has a long commute. We try on those days to do things that we might not do when dad's around, such as play games (he doesn't really do boardgames and stuff), or we'll work on cleaning house or other projects to keep us busy, or maybe watch a movie to kill some time. I know he isn't gone long term, but these are things that we do. Also, one thing the kids love is to plan something special for when dad does get home, such as a special meal or other simple surprise.”
I have found this one to be the case at our house. Fun and different activities to keep everyone busy are the key!
Make time for yourself.
I was surprised at how often this answer came up, but it makes sense! Especially if you are solo parenting on a long term basis, it would be very easy to get worn down! Making self-care a priority is a must if you want to keep your sanity. (Here are 13 Free Ways to Take Care of You!)
A couple different readers said that they sometimes put the kids to bed a little early and invite a friend or two over for some snacks and adult conversation. Great idea!