Teaching Our Children About Broken Fellowship

Guest post by contributor Andrea

Last year when I was struggling as a mother of four kids under the age of four (including newborn twins), a dear friend gave me a book called “Loving the Little Years” by Rachel Jankovic.  That little book has been read several times now, as well as the sequel, “Fit to Burst”.  I love these books because they are short, and the chapters are short.  They are random thoughts on motherhood in no particular order.  I could usually finish a chapter while nursing the babies.  It is chock full of humor, practical suggestions, encouragement, and lessons on motherhood – specifically in mothering little people.

Perhaps one of the reasons I “connected” with the author so well is that our children fall into the same birth order, two toddlers, then twins (and now she has two other children).  So many times I wondered if Rachel had been sitting in my living room watching me mother my children, and then gone home to write a chapter about it!

One of the biggest things I took away from this book was how to teach my children to restore fellowship.  I’m sure you’ve been there – the kids are fighting over that same toy, again.  One child gets mad and hits his sister, while the sister spouts off unkind names to her brother.  And there you are, trying to figure out who had the toy first, who did what, and who gets the discipline.

I am always frustrated when this breaks out in our home!  {And it happens quite often…just saying.}  But now I approach my teaching and discipline from a different perspective.  Instead of dealing with who had the toy first, we talk instead about broken fellowship.  You see, my children had both decided that the toy was more important than the fellowship with their sibling.  They assigned more value to the item that to the relationship.  They don’t realize they are doing that, but it provides a great opportunity to counsel them about sin and relationships.

We now go through questions something like this:

What is more important, your brother, or that toy? 

What did you act like was the most important? 

What should we do to show your brother he is most important? 

How can you restore the fellowship? 

It takes several counseling sessions to help your children understand the concept of fellowship.  You want them to understand that relationships (people) are more important than things.  If the rift in the fellowship is really bad, I do take away the toy.  I explain that it would be better to throw the toy away than to have it in our house if we are going to break fellowship because of it.  And when push comes to shove, the kids usually find a way to share the toy rather than have it thrown in the garbage.

To restore fellowship, the kids need to say something like, “I’m sorry I wasn’t kind and I broke fellowship with you.  Will you please forgive me?”  Then they hug, and make-up.

This has not only been very helpful in solving fights, but it is also a valuable opportunity to teach them about the Gospel.  Every one of us is born into broken fellowship with God.  The only way to restore fellowship is to ask Him to forgive our sins through the blood of Jesus, and to come into our life and be our Savior.  Even as Christians, we experience broken fellowship with our Lord on a daily basis every time we sin.  But the fellowship is easy to restore when we ask for forgiveness.

Every time my children my children experience broken fellowship with each other, I get to illustrate their broken fellowship with God.  I am praying that one day soon my oldest will understand more completely and choose to accept Christ and the restored fellowship He offers.

15 Fall Leaf Crafts for Kids

My son is enthralled with the beauty of the changing colors of leaves.  Every day he asks me if we can collect some leaves and make a craft.  The problem is, I'm not exactly the crafty type of mom.

So I set out to find some crafts we could do using the leaves we collected.  And I found some GREAT ideas!

Fall Leaf Watercolors

Negative Space Fall Leaf Painting

Fall Leaf Rubbing Activity

Falling Leaves Craft

Finger Painted Fall Leaf Garland

Fall Leaf Wreath

Fall Leaf Sewing Activity

Fall Leaf Art

Fall Leaf Collage

Easy Fall Leaf Tree

Fall Leaf Man Craft

Fall Maple Leaf Globe Craft

Simple Fall Leaf Collage

 Fall Leaf Art

Fall Leaf Suncatchers

Join Me for 31 Days of Imperfect Homemaking!

Are you easily overwhelmed with all that you need to do?

Between taking care of the house, loving on your husband and kids, and caring for your own health and well-being, you just don't know where to start, so you don't start anywhere.  Am I right?

But, you see, you miss out on so much by saying you don't have time, when in reality you could accomplish a lot of if you just stopped staring at it all and got to work!  You may not be able to reach your lofty ideals, but getting things done, even imperfectly, is better than doing nothing at all, isn't it?

Each day in October I will be posting a daily challenge to help you OVERCOME YOUR OVERWHELM.

I'll give you a job to do regarding your house, your family, your health, or your spiritual growth, and you will do it.  The point is not to spend hours doing these things perfectly, but just to get something done!  At the end of the month, you will be amazed and refreshed to see how much you've accomplished!

Ready to join me? Sign up below and select which categories you'd like to receive in your inbox.  (For this series, anything having to do with loving on  your kids will go into the homeschooling category, so select that if you want kid-related challenges.)

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Don't forget to open the confirmation email after subscribing or you won't receive any emails!

Join me on Instagram throughout the challenge by using the hashtag #imperfecthomemaker.  I'd love to see pictures of your progress!

Travel Tips for Toddlers

Last year I would have told you I am no expert on traveling with little ones.  I would still say that I am not an expert, but being a missionary on deputation has afforded me lots of practice!  We are gone every weekend and many weeks in between.  Next year we will be gone for several months at a time.

When we began this journey I asked several missionary friends for suggestions.  Many of their tips have been lifesavers as we travel the country with four little people.  Some areas are still being tweaked to find out what works best.  These are a few of my tips for traveling with toddlers…

1.  Keep Your Routine – even when away from home. I know that it is not always possible, but stick to what is “normal” as much as possible.  Observe the same nap times.  Eat the same foods.  Keep the same bedtime routine.

2.  Bring Favorite Items. There are enough “strange” things on any trip – a different bed, a new house or hotel room, and possibly a different climate.  Try to keep some things the same. Liberty is attached to her blanket.  We bring it on every trip.  Elaine and Nolan are older and have lots of favorite “friends”, so they have to select one friend to bring in the car.  We also bring a couple of family favorites for bedtime stories.  This gives the kids something familiar in an unfamiliar environment.

3.  Switch Things Up. We have several different entertainment items to keep the kids happy in the car.  But we try to keep them varied so that the kids don’t get bored of any one thing.  We use a DVD player, books on CD, reading chapter books aloud (I love my Kindle because it takes up so little space), independent playtime (with items from their backpack), family games such as “I Spy”, Bible stories from Daddy, singing, and nap time.  We do one thing for a little while, and then move on to another.  During nap time they can't hold any toys and they have to close their eyes and stop speaking.  They almost always fall asleep.

My bigger kids are allowed to pack their own little backpacks, but I limit the number of toys.  I usually let them have “five small toys”.  They usually pick things like zoo animals, Little People, etc. and play make believe in their car seats.  I have found that crayons/markers/stickers are not good in the car for little people.  I spend most of my trip retrieving them from the floor.  For drawing, Magna Doodles work great!

 4.  Travel at Night. It may be helpful to travel at night when your little people will naturally sleep.  You don't have to plan as many stops, so the traveling goes faster.  We have done it several times for very long trips.  It is hard on Mom & Dad the next day, though!

5.  Stop frequently. We stop about every three hours, and usually for an hour.  By the time we change diapers, take a potty break, eat lunch, and let the kids run off the wiggles, it is usually an hour.  But then the kids are much more content  to get back into the car.  We have found it very helpful to pack a lunch and stop at a park, playground, or rest stop to eat.  This gives us fresh air and more room for the kids to run around, and it’s much easier on our wallet!

Packing Tips:

1.  Pack Light. Almost everywhere we go there is a washing machine.  I usually pack three days of clothes, and then wash.  This means less stuff to load and unload into the car, and it is also less items to keep track of at the home/hotel where we are staying.  For a family of six we can travel with only two suitcases, a bag of shoes, and a family toiletry bag.  It means less to get ready, too.  I can have us all packed in about two hours or less!

2.  Prepare for Accidents. We have two kiddos in diapers, and one potty training.  I keep an extra outfit and socks in the diaper bag for these kids.  That way if there is an accident on the road, we don’t have to unload the whole suitcase.

3.  Stay Organized. I bring along a laundry bag to set up in our destination home.  This keeps the suitcase organized.  I pack the “little” stuff for each person in a Ziploc bag with their name on it.  All undies, socks, ties, belts, hair bows, etc. go into that person's bag to stay organized.  I bring a mesh laundry bag to put dirty socks into, so that they are not lost in the dirty laundry.  When you’re only packing for three days, it’s hard to lose a pair of socks!

4.  Pack a Community Bag. Since there are six in our family, we have found a “community bag” to be helpful.  All of our shoes go into one bag.  This keeps dirt out of the suitcases and makes it easy to keep track of everyone’s shoes.  We also have a family toiletry bag.  All toiletry items for the whole family go into one bag, and then there is only one bag in the destination bathroom, instead of six individual bags.  This makes it easier to be sure we have everything packed, too.  I can easily glance through the toiletry bag to know we have all the necessary items, and my husband knows he only has to worry about loading one bag into the van.

Do you travel often?  What do you do to make it fun instead of stressful?

13 Amazing (Real Food) Apple Recipes

It's apple season! I just got myself a bushel of apples over the weekend, and no doubt I'll be getting more before the season is over. I normally just use most of them to make applesauce (using this handy little applesauce grinder – one of my favorite kitchen tools ever!)

But I thought it would be nice to do something a little more interesting with the apples. I'm not the greatest at coming up with recipes. (When I do it's monumental, and they definitely turn into a blog post!)

But even if I'm not that great at creating recipes, I know exactly where to look to find them!

I simply ask around to my blogging colleagues, and they never fail me! Their stunning photography and their knack for creating amazing food from real, whole ingredients is just delightful!

Here are some of my top picks of their apple recipes:

Main Dishes

Pork, Apples, and Brussels Sprouts Skillet

Sweet and Savory Tuna Salad

Side Dishes

Sweet Potato, Bacon, and Apple Hash

Apple Sweet Potato Bake

Cinnamon Baked Apples

Breakfast

Awesome Apple Cinnamon Pancakes (gluten free)

Amazing Applesauce muffins

Snacks

Gluten Free Applesauce Oat Bars

Desserts

Stove Top Apple Crisp

Gluten free Apple Raspberry Pie

Applesauce Almond Cake

Apple Cranberry Crumble

Easy Apple Crisp

I'm not sure which one to try first!  Which one looks the best to you?

Feed My Lambs

Our pastor just finished preaching through the book of John.  I love the end of the book – chapter 21 – when Jesus meets His disciples on the shore of the Sea of Galilee.  He gently restores Peter by reaffirming his call three times – the same number of times which Peter had denied Jesus during the crucifixion.  Jesus states His mission for Peter – “feed my lambs” one time, and “feed my sheep” twice.

We know that Jesus was calling Peter to be a leading force in the newly formed New Testament church.  The reference to lambs likely refers to new believers.  Jesus wanted Peter to gently care for those who were new in the faith.  “Sheep” could refer to more mature believers.

As my pastor was preaching through these verses he mentioned how lambs have to be fed more often.  Sometimes the shepherd might have to get up in the night to care for these vulnerable little ones.  On a recent missionary deputation trip we stayed with a family who has a hobby goat farm.  One of the goats died giving birth to twin kids.  The family members alternated who got up every four hours during the night to give the goats a bottle of milk.

My mind wandered to mothers of newborns and young babies.  We get up in the night to meet the physical needs of our children by nursing them or giving them a bottle.  We comfort them when they are sick, hold them when they are teething, and soothe them after a bad dream.  We don’t tell them to feed themselves or to go back to sleep – we deal gently with them, even though we are weary. 

Though there could be many applications from this passage, one was important to me, and I have meditated on it many times over the last couple of weeks.  As mothers, we have an important role to take care of the physical needs of our young children.  Sometimes we feel alone, home-bound, weary, lost in the monotony of routine tasks, and even unimportant, unaccomplished, and unappreciated.  But our efforts are not lost to the Savior.  He recognized that those who are young or immature need more care.

Yet our responsibility to feed our young children extends far beyond the tasks of meals, laundry, cleaning the home, etc.  As Christian parents we are responsible to spiritually feed our children.  They should hear the Word of God from our lips, and they should see it lived out in our daily choices.  It is not the Sunday School teacher’s job to teach our children the truths of God’s Word.  Their ministry is reinforcing what our children should be learning at home…from us.

We “feed the lambs” by teaching them God’s Word, living God’s Word, explaining God’s Word, helping them memorize God’s Word, and applying God’s Word to everyday situations in the lives of our children.  We feed the lambs when we pray for our children, and refuse to let the enemy get a stronghold in their lives.

Sometimes I get tired of going through the same lecture, the same discipline, the same scenario with my little ones.  Are they bickering over that toy AGAIN?  Did he just hit his sister AGAIN?  I want to say, “I shouldn’t have to tell you this again!”  But just as there are times physically when I don’t think I can squeeze another ounce of energy out to pry myself out of bed and nurse the baby, so there are times spiritually when I don’t think I have the strength to shepherd these little lambs and their delicate hearts to the Savior.  And do you know what?  I don’t have the strength.  I can’t do it alone.  As He gives me strength to meet the physical needs of my children, so the Lord gives the wisdom and the strength to go over that lesson on kindness with my children one more time.

We just started homeschooling for kindergarten last week, and I am very weary.  It seems like things are grating on my nerves more quickly than normal.  Each task seems to take more energy that I have.  But I have been encouraged from this passage to continue on feeding His lambs.  He has entrusted four of them to me, and I don’t want to fail the Savior in my task.