One Simple Way to Bring More Peace Into Your Home
“Something's got to change. Something has to change NOW.”
I was completely overwhelmed and defeated as a mother.
Oh, sure, I had made a lot of changes in my mindset and overall I was happier and less stressed.
But things at home were still not flowing terribly smoothly.
A lot of that stemmed from my battling of chronic fatigue and other health issues (more on that in another post) and the fact that we just could not get into a routine because of it. Some days I'd be up well before the kids, some days found me sleeping until embarrassingly late hours of the morning because my body was too weak and tired to get up any earlier.
4 kids and a sleeping-in mother DO NOT mix well, let me tell you. They could get breakfast for themselves, but they sure couldn't clean it up very well. 🙂
We managed to get a lot of the chaos under control by instituting a rule that no one was allowed to come out of their rooms until mommy was up. For the most part they obeyed (other than the toddler who would just come snuggle with me and I sure didn't mind that.)
But regardless, on the days where I slept late we all felt behind all day. It was frustrating to both me and the kids. I tried so hard to get up earlier because I knew that it would reduce a lot of my stress and in the long run help me to feel better. (Reducing stress is a huge component of battling chronic fatigue.)
Step number one in that process was to focus on an earlier bedtime for the kids. They were often up late because we started our day late, which then pushed every activity of the day back by a couple hours, which pushed bedtime back way too far, which kept me up late, which exhausted me and stressed me out, which left me with that “I've-been-run-over-by-a-truck” feeling the next morning, continuing the vicious cycle.
I'm learning that the biggest changes come when I learn to focus on one small thing.
So getting consistent with bedtime was my first “small thing.” And it had a domino effect. The earlier bedtime allowed me to be more rested, which helped me start getting up earlier, which helped me stay on top of my days better, which helped me to have the kids ready for bed earlier, which reduced a ton of stress, which made me feel more rested, which continued that positive cycle.
And all I had to do was one simple thing.
It made such a drastic difference that I was telling all my mom friends about it when they would talk about how exhausted they were or how stressed they were.
They probably thought I was weird, because don't most moms put their kids to bed at a normal, decent hour? But I wasn't doing that. So I figured that even if most moms have the bedtime thing down, there are probably some that don't.
We still don't have the bedtime thing down perfectly. Things happen. But when we get off track, I go right back to shooting for that early bedtime the next night.
In the beginning, I literally had to focus on bedtime all day long. The focus of the entire day was on how I could get everyone in bed on time.
And it was great!
By focusing on one thing, my organizational skills improved in so many other areas as a natural result. I got meals served in a timely manner because I knew that a late supper would mean a late kitchen cleanup and a late bedtime (or no kitchen cleanup if it got to be too late which would definitely increase the stress of the next day!) I got baths given and laundry put away sooner rather than later so it could be done before the kids went to bed. This one focus area affected so many other things, but yet I didn't feel like it went against my naturally disorganized personality because I wasn't trying to think about a bunch of stuff every day. I only had to be good at one thing, but it automatically made me good at other stuff.
(Full disclosure here: by the phrase “good at”, I really mean, “a lot better than I used to be, but still not even close to perfect.”)
Once I had the earlier bedtime down fairly well, I began to work on a morning routine for all of us. I knew I needed something that would work regardless of what time we got up in the morning.
And I have been SO PLEASED with how things are going. (Here is an update on the Morning Routine for Kids that Changed Our Days.)
We still have a lot of progress to make in our pursuit of smoothly flowing days. And I realize that with a bunch of little kids, “smoothly flowing” is always going to be a pretty relative term. But I can handle the hiccups with a lot less agitation now that everyone knows where they're supposed to be and what they're supposed to be doing.
Here's the really cool thing: this concept works no matter what your “one thing” is. For me, it was getting the kids to bed earlier. For you, maybe it's getting yourself to bed earlier. Maybe it's preparing your dinner first thing in the morning. Maybe something else entirely. But the key is to choose one simple thing to focus on that will have a domino effect on many other aspects of your day.
I've created a workbook that will guide you through the process of finding the thing that you need to tweak for your unique situation. Check out 7 Days to Calm for easy-to-follow instructions that will help you figure out how to eliminate the chaos in your own home.
I understand what it's like to feel like life is never-ending chaos.
It's depressing. Boy, do I know.
I'm so thankful the Lord has given wisdom and help to come up with simple solutions that even someone as disorganized as I am could implement.
Friend, if you're struggling through that vicious cycle of staying up late, being tired and grouchy, feeling behind all day long, and going to bed late yet again, can I encourage you to not be afraid of the simplest solution?
Can I encourage you to focus on just one thing?
For me it was the earlier bedtime for the kids. For you, that may be preparing supper first thing in the day because it will in turn reduce the evening chaos. It may be something else. But pinpoint one small thing. Stop trying to fix your whole life all in one shot, and just narrow it down to one thing.
You may be surprised how much of a difference it will make in your home.
I've been a mess for so long, and I know how miserable it is. I also know how relieving it is when the tornado-like winds start slowing down.
If you're still in the middle of the chaos, I want you to feel that relief. If I can find a little calm amidst the chaos, I think anybody can!
How I Get My Kids to Actually Stay Quiet During Afternoon Quiet Time
I am unashamedly an introvert mom.
That means I start getting a bit jittery in the afternoons. I have to have some quiet time without the constant “kid noise” in the background or I struggle to be sweet. I need some time to recharge my batteries so I can head into the evening calm and collected.
But the big question is:
How do I implement a quiet time for the kids that is actually quiet?
Usually I have the smallest ones take a nap while the older ones read in their rooms.
But often the ones who are not required to take naps will come out of their room approximately 800 times, thus ensuring that quiet time is not exactly relaxing for mama. They need a snack or have to go to the bathroom or have to tattle on a sibling about something.
Enter my latest lifesaver: Jonathan Park Audio Adventures
Jonathan Park audio adventures are so engaging for my kids that they don't want to get up from quiet time because they'll miss what happens next!
My oldest son (age 8) has been especially engrossed in the adventures. He talks about them non-stop and asks me several times a day if he may listen to the next episode. He's always trying to guess what is going to happen as he scours the descriptions on the backs of the cases to see if he can catch onto any clues about the next episode.
Why Mom Loves Jonathan Park Audio Adventures:
- Character building – my children are being encouraged through the example of their “peers” on the audios to develop numerous Godly character traits such as perseverance, selflessness, courage, and more!
- Teaches Biblical Creationism – a child may not be interested in a big term like “Apologetics”, but that is exactly what my children are learning through these exciting stories! They're not only learning the truth about our world and its Creator; they're learning how to defend that truth!
- All while keeping the kids quietly occupied! (And mom might secretly enjoy hearing the stories too when she's not busy catching a nap!)
What my kids think of Jonathan Park Audio Adventures:
I like it best when we get to the exciting parts where I wonder, “What's going to happen next?!!” -K. age 6
And I already mentioned how often my 8-year-old talks about the stories and how he asks several times a day if he may listen to the next episode. With a strongly distractable personality, the fact that he can sit still for an entire afternoon with his attention captivated by the stories is impressive! (Even if he does sit on my kitchen counters so he can be right next to the CD player!)
As he saw me composing this blog post, he said, “That's how you keep us quiet?” “Yes,” I answered. “It works!”
“Well, I like Jonathan Park! I'm going to save my money so I can buy another set!”
What are the adventures like?
Well…why don't you decide? Listen below to a trailer! The level of excitement you hear is exactly how the adventures are the entire way through!
Who are Jonathan Park Audio Adventures for?
The adventures were specifically designed for ages 7-13, although younger children all the way through adults will enjoy them!
Are you ready to bless your family with highly entertaining, faith-building audio adventures?
Click here to get your first Series Pack 1 – over five hours of action-packed fun that will equip, educate, and unlock your kids’ imaginations!!
Disclosure: I received product and/or payment to facilitate this review. As always, I only feature products our family personally uses and loves to share with my readers!
How to Plan a Couples Getaway in Gatlinburg, Tennessee
Last week my husband and I had the opportunity to go to Gatlinburg, Tennessee and spend some time together kid-free. It was so restful, and we enjoyed having the opportunity to talk and get to know one another as best friends again rather than just a parenting team.
Gatlinburg is such a great location for anyone living in the southeast when you need an easily accessible place for a quick getaway, so I thought I would share all about our trip to give you some ideas for spending your time there!
Where to stay
We were blessed by the kind folks at Gatlinburg Falls Resort, who were willing to partner with us by providing a place to stay so that I could tell you all about it! We actually stayed there last year with our kids and had a positive experience, so I'm glad we were able to go back again!
Would you like to take a tour of our cabin? Take a peek inside in the video below!
Customer service
We arrived in Gatlinburg well before check-in time, so I called the office to see if there was any possibility of checking in early. The girl at the front desk was super nice and helpful. She put our cabin in as priority to be cleaned so that it would be one of the first ones done. Their policy says that check-in time begins at 4 pm, and that each cabin may not actually be ready right away since they have so many cabins to prepare for guests. Ours was one of the first ones done and we were able to get in right at 4:00. I felt like we were rushing them because my husband had a migraine and I was hoping he could go lie down. While we sat around in the office, the clerk contacted the crew several times to see if they were done yet.
As soon as we got into the cabin, we got a knock at the door from a maintenance man. Evidently we had rushed them too much and there were a couple more jobs that needed to be taken care of. The hot tub needed to be checked, the beds did not have their comforters on them yet, and a broken towel bar needed to be re-hung in the bathroom. He was very apologetic and did his best to work without disturbing us.
Cleanliness
Everything in the cabin was very clean. I get grossed out easily, so it was nice to be able to enjoy my stay without feeling like I couldn't touch anything.
Amenities
We had everything we needed for an enjoyable stay – TV's, internet, washer and dryer, dishwasher, jetted showers, game room, porch with rocking chairs, and of course, no relaxing getaway could possibly be complete without a hot tub!
Price
I've checked out the prices on the website for Gatlinburg Falls Resort several times, and I think they are quite reasonable. If you follow them on social media, you'll find that they often have last-minute 50% off specials, which is a fabulous deal! Follow them here: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
What to do
We spent a good portion of our time just hanging out at the cabin, relaxing in the hot tub, cooking nice meals together, and catching up on about 5 years worth of sleep. 🙂
Elkmont
I was excited to find out that the Elkmont fireflies would still be in season while we were there. There is an area about 7 miles from our cabin where there are thousands of fireflies. They all light up at the same time and then they all go dark at the same time. It is a spectacular show and Elkmont is only one of 2 places in the world where this happens, from what I understand. We hiked a good ways up the Little River Trail right before dark and then just sat in the woods until dark. Once it got dark the show began, and it was fantastic! We tried to video, but with our unprofessional equipment, the video did not turn out. However, here is a professional video of the experience. Since we went a week after the predicted “peak season”, there were only a few people out on the trail, but the show was still good!
Great Smoky Mountains National Park
If you like to get out in nature and enjoy a hike or just drive through the beautiful scenery, you're only minutes away from doing so when you stay at Gatlinburg Falls Resort. Here is a directory of hikes rated by how easy or hard they are. (I had to stick to the easy ones! 🙂 )
Downtown Gatlinburg
We took our kids last year, and it was nothing short of stressful! There were so many people, and it was hard to keep track of all the kids in the crowd. Going as a couple was so much more fun! We leisurely browsed all the gift shops and just enjoyed each other's company. This year, instead of spending money on parking, we took the Gatlinburg Trolley. We parked for free at city hall, which was just down the hill from our cabin. Then we rode the Trolley into downtown for the whopping cost of 50 cents each. (Parking downtown is around $8 – $10, so we saved ourselves a heap of money, plus we got the pleasant experience of riding the trolley.)
Hillbilly Golf
If you like to play miniature golf, go to Hillbilly Golf! We've always looked at it when we have gone to Gatlinburg, but this trip was the first time we have gone. We will be back! Not only was it a unique experience playing mini golf on the side of a mountain, the course itself was challenging, which always makes it more fun! The owners were super friendly too!
There we are in the middle seat:
They pull you up the mountain in this little car and then you play golf on the side of the mountain!
Cades Cove
No trip to Gatlinburg would be complete without heading over to Cades Cove. Cades Cove is an 11 mile loop that you drive around. You're almost guaranteed to see wildlife along the way. Stop at the little pavilion right before you enter the loop road and pay a dollar for the little map/guide thingy. There are houses and churches spread throughout the cove, and knowing the history of them makes the drive more interesting. You can also get out and walk around the buildings, and there are some short hikes you can take as well.
Wild horses at Cades Cove
Deer at Cades Cove
Can you spot the bear?
If you're not into driving around bumper to bumper with dozens of other cars, and long for a bit of peace and quiet, you can pull off Rich Mountain Road about a third of the way through the cove. Be sure that's what you want to do since it's a one way road and you won't be able to re-enter the cove. Instead you'll travel a windy 12 mile gravel road up to the top of the mountain and wind back down again where you come out in Townsend, TN. There's not much of a view other than the forest and the switchbacks below you as you make your way up the mountain. But you'll have the pleasure of being alone, and you'll get to enjoy two beautiful overlooks.
There's a church in the valley by the wildwood…
Sunset over Cades Cove
What to eat
The benefit of staying in a cabin is that you have a kitchen. By eating most of our meals at the cabin, we save a lot of money on food. We can eat a lot healthier than we would if we were eating out too, which makes us feel better, which means our getaway is more enjoyable! Plus, my husband and I enjoy cooking nice meals together when we are by ourselves. There's something relaxing about cooking when you don't have a bunch of people to clean up after! But of course, it's fun to eat out once in a while too. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of healthy options in Gatlinburg when it comes to restaurants. Here's where we ate:
Whole Earth Grocery
This was a little health food store tucked away up on a side street in Gatlinburg. They have a cafe inside that serves healthy lunch options. I had a chicken salad sandwich with potato salad. They serve salads and sandwiches there with potato salad, pasta salad, or organic blue corn chips as the side. You can grab a bottle of kombucha out of the fridge for a drink if that's your thing. 🙂
Good Eats
I did not care for the atmosphere inside of this restaurant. It seemed like the bar was the main focus, which we didn't even realize until after we ate and went inside to pay. They had tables outside, and we enjoyed people-watching while we ate. 🙂 The food was amazing! My husband had a reuben sandwich, and I had a burger. It was huge!
The first words my husband said when he took a bite of his sandwich were, “Oh wow.” Since he's not easily impressed, I'd say he enjoyed his sandwich as much as I enjoyed my burger. (Or maybe he was saying “Oh wow” at the sight of me trying to stuff that whole burger into my mouth! 🙂 )
Other things to do
You can certainly find much more to do in Gatlinburg than we did. You can visit the Ripley's Aquarium, go up in the space needle, or ride the skylift to Ober Gatlinburg. You can visit the arts and crafts district. You can go ziplining or horseback riding or whitewater rafting.
Whatever types of things you enjoy, they are probably there. For us, we were more than satisfied with hanging out at the cabin, spending time in the woods, and getting a small dose of the gift shops.
If you are in need of a relaxing time away with your spouse, I highly recommend slipping away to Gatlinburg for a few days!
Don't forget to follow Gatlinburg Falls Resort on social media so you can take advantage of one of their specials!
The Thing You May Not Know About Debilitating Back Pain During Pregnancy
I made my way out to my vehicle in the chiropractor parking lot as tears of frustration brimmed at the corners of my eyes.
I had just dropped a chunk of money on yet another adjustment and I felt zero relief from the pain in my lower back.
“You need to get in here more often”, they would tell me every time I went.
“Easy for you to say,” I thought. “You're the one who's getting the money. I'm paying money that I don't really have to spend and I've got nothing to show for it.”
I had already been splurging on twice-monthly visits as opposed to the typically prescribed monthly maintenance visit. But this time I was in so much pain that I called only one week after my previous visit and went in for another adjustment.
I couldn't hold the tears in any longer.
“I've spent months in pain and I'm so tired of not being able to walk. I can't run my household or take care of my children. I keep getting adjusted and doing everything I'm supposed to do, but still this lower back pain persists through every pregnancy. I don't think anyone truly understands how bad it is. I need help, but no one seems to get it.”
Not only has the pain been, well, painful, but it's embarrassing as well.
“How cute. You're waddling already.” I've heard that statement with every single pregnancy as I begin to waddle very early on. They think I'm trying to accentuate my pregnancy because I'm so excited about it (I am, obviously, but that's not why I'm waddling.) I'm waddling because I cannot walk. My lower back is in horrible pain, people! But instead I just smile, my face flushed with embarrassment.
As the pregnancy progresses and my belly grows larger and larger, the pain becomes worse and worse. I know I should be exercising throughout the pregnancy, but even just a walk to the end of the driveway is almost more than I can handle.
So I settle in to “wait it out”. “I guess this is just the way it is until after the baby is born.”
But as I sat there that day in the chiropractor parking lot, I had reached the end of my patience. Here I was at 35 weeks along – almost to the end of my pregnancy, but I just could not take the pain any more. My back was so locked up that I had to take my hands and physically move my legs up stairs because they would not lift that high on their own.
When I got home I began to do some searching online to see if there was anything that could be done, but I became more discouraged than ever.
“Here I am almost to the end of my pregnancy, and I have no idea how I am going to deliver this baby. I haven't been able to exercise, so my body is incredibly weak. How am I going to go through labor? My body won't have the strength to do this!”
Finally I decided to post in a Facebook group where a lot of my natural living blogger friends hang out. I have been in that group for years, and we are all very close, with most of our chats having less to do about blogging than they do about seeking health advice or asking for prayer.
Within minutes I had my answer.
“You should get in touch with The Tummy Team. You need to strengthen those core muscles so that your chiropractic adjustments will hold. That will also take a lot of the pressure off your low back.”
“But I only have 5 weeks left in my pregnancy. Is there any chance for relief in that amount of time? And how can I get my body strong enough for labor in that amount of time?”
The answer I received gave me so much hope: “You are definitely not a lost cause! You have 5 weeks left, and the Prenatal Course from The Tummy Team is 6 weeks long and will cross over nicely through birth. I work closely with Kelly, and we have seen ladies experience dramatic relief after just 3-5 days of diligence in their exercises.”
I immediately got up off the bed where I was lying and got onto The Tummy Team website.
To further my excitement at having found some hope, I saw that they also offer a 2 week Prentatal Crash Course, specifically for women who are at the end of pregnancy but need some help preparing their body for labor and delivery.
“Wow! It looks like it is possible to get prepared for labor and delivery even if I only had 2 weeks left!” I thought.
I sent an email to Kelly immediately, and within a day I had begun my first week of classes and exercises.
I have been in the program for only a few days so far, but I know it is going to help!
Already I am much more conscientious of how I carry myself, and I'm learning how to properly activate my core so there is not so much weight pulling on my back.
Whether you're at the beginning of your pregnancy or very close to the end, I know you will benefit from the resources at The Tummy Team.
I am really looking forward to finding some relief to the back pain, being stronger for labor and delivery, and having my body in a better position for recovery once the baby is born.
CHECK OUT THE TUMMY TEAM PRENATAL CORE TRAINING HERE.
Update March 2017: Baby is now 8 months old, so I think it's been long enough for me to give you an accurate update on how The Tummy Team helped the remainder of my pregnancy! 😉
How did it help the pain?
There was a noticeable difference in my level of back pain in just about a week! Now, mind you, I was pretty bad off, so it's not like I went down to zero pain, but just learning the proper technique for activating my core (it's a different technique than a lot of people think) made a HUGE difference. I was able to start walking a little more and build up some strength before labor and delivery.
How did it help labor and delivery?
I loved how the course teaches proper pushing technique so that you don't further damage your core during labor and create a long recovery time. I felt that it really helped me. Also, I have never felt so good after a birth. You know that awful, jello-like feeling you have in your empty belly after the birth? Learning how to splint after birth made a night and day difference. Splinting my belly felt wonderful!
Do you see any additional benefits?
Yes! Now that I am no longer pregnant, I still have proper posture and core activation at the top of my mind. I have greatly reduced the number of chiropractic adjustments I need because my stronger core keeps my back in alignment! I'm still in the Facebook group that all Tummy Team course members receive access to, and Kelly is the sweetest thing ever. She's always accessible for questions or a word of encouragement.
Are there any cons to the Tummy Team course?
The only thing that might be a deterrent to some people is the price. You'll pay $149 for the course, plus Kelly recommends a tummy splint, which will be about $40. Honestly, though, I find it to be a worthy investment. (The relief I found, plus being able to reduce my amount of chiropractor visits made the course totally worth it.)
Some people may not like the fact that you only have access to your course for 6 weeks (plus an additional week of grace if I'm not mistaken.) I personally found that to be a very smart way to run an online course because too many times I have signed up for something that gave me lifetime access, and then never actually completed it because I got too comfortable with the fact that I could come back if I got behind. I liked the extra pressure to complete the class. Plus, having lifetime access to the Facebook group, gives me additional education and encouragement now that my course is completed.
If you're experiencing debilitating back pain, first of all, let me say I am so sorry! I know how miserable it is!
But I also want to let you know there is hope! You will not regret placing yourself under the tender care of Kelly and her team.
CHECK OUT THE TUMMY TEAM PRENATAL CORE TRAINING HERE.
Dear Mom Who Got Nothing Done Today
Hey mama,
You had big plans for what you hoped to accomplish today, didn't you?
Maybe you carefully planned the agenda and got up a little early. You were so optimistic about the day.
But the other people in your family weren't really interested in your agenda and your plans were thwarted at every turn.
The kids were whining and arguing. Your normally smoothly running routine was just not working today.
You're frustrated right now as you look around and see that nothing…NOTHING! has been accomplished.
In fact, the house is messier than when you started, supper ended up being cold cereal, and you just want to crawl in bed and pretend this day didn't happen.
You know what, Mama?
A lot more than you realize had been accomplished today.
Your success as a mother cannot be measured by how clean the house was at the end of the day or what you served for supper.
Here's what you accomplished today in spite of leaving your to-do list completely untouched:
- You taught whining children how to control their emotions.
- You taught unkind children how to put others first.
- You taught disobedient children how to do what's right even when they don't feel like it.
- You taught lazy children how to be diligent in all that they do.
You loved when it was hard to love.
You reinforced lessons that your children need to learn.
You put food in little bellies.
You showed your children how to choose joy, patience and forgiveness.
And if perchance you blew it and lost your cool, you apologized and showed your children that you sometimes make the wrong choices too. And in doing so you also showed them how not to wallow in their mistakes, but to be thankful for grace, forgive themselves and move on.
And if you haven't done that yet, the good news is that it's never too late!
This day is not a loss!
You've added more building blocks to the crucial foundation that your children need for a successful adult life.
You probably don't feel like the wall has gotten any higher today. Progress in child training is painfully slow and you won't see any immediate results.
But sometime in the future this very day will be a part of who your children are.
And by God's grace they will be adults who have seen in your life and heard from your lips that a life worth living is one that follows hard after God.
I'd say teaching your children those lessons is a far cry from “getting nothing done.”
Don't despair, mama. You've done more today than you realize.
(I posted this on my Facebook page a couple days ago, and it seemed appropriate for this post:)
You Are Not “Just” a Mom!
I've been studying women of the Bible in my personal devotions every morning – basically just going through an alphabetical list of every woman's name and then studying what the Bible says about that person.
Over a period of several days I started to notice a trend.
Many of the women mentioned in the Bible are not there because of some fascinating story connected to them; they are there simply because they are someone's mother.
This is the case in particular with the kings of Israel and Judah. Most of the time, the Bible tells the name of the king and then accompanies it with “and his mother's name was ______.”
It struck me that the Bible would often elaborate on whether or not that particular king did what was right in the sight of the Lord or whether he was evil.
Now, I know that every person makes their own choices and that whether the kings did right or wrong was ultimately up to them.
But, how much influence must those kings' mothers have had on them?
Even the famous chapter of Proverbs 31 is all about what one king learned from his mother.
Dear fellow mom, do you have any idea how much influence you have in our world?
You are shaping the future of our nation.
You are molding the leaders of our churches, our businesses, and our entire country.
Don't think for a second that your job is not important!
You're not “just” a mom!
How seriously are you taking the responsibility to teach your children how to be Godly adults?