Marriage Advice to the Woman in a Good Marriage
I've not written a whole lot about marriage here. Most — not all, but most — of my posts are borne out of whatever I'm personally reflecting on at the moment. A lot of that has to do with the struggles of motherhood. That is something that is immensely more difficult than I ever imagined!
But marriage has never been all that difficult. We're not perfect, but it's not something that my husband and I struggle with. He's a good man! We always seem to be on the same wavelength, so arguments…I mean, disagreements…are not something that frequently occurs. It's pretty smooth sailing between the two of us most of the time, therefore I've never felt like I had a ton of stuff to write about from personal experience.
But yesterday I realized I had an important message to share. To myself first of all, then to all the other ladies who are living in a non-difficult marriage.
So here it is: Marriage Advice to the Woman In a Good Marriage
“Why is he so grouchy?” I wondered. “He's usually only grouchy when he has a headache, and I don't think he does today.”
I began to ponder what the problem could be. Before too long the light bulb went off. Stress! My husband is under a lot of stress! And what have I been doing to help him? Pretty much nothing.
When you're married to a good man, it becomes easy to start expecting him to be a good man. I mean, that's just what he does. He helps me with the laundry, speaks tenderly and lovingly to me (and tries to understand my crazy womanly ways!), and plays with the kids. He works hard to provide for his family, keeps things repaired around the house, and serves at church in whatever ways he can.
He does all of these things faithfully. He's so good to me and the children; I couldn't ask for a better man!
But I've taken it for granted.
I haven't needed “marriage advice” because we don't argue. We try to serve one another in the home. We understand each other.
But there are some things I've neglected to do this for this wonderful man of mine.
1. Pray for him faithfully.
It took some stress in his life for me to realize that I've not been praying for my husband like I should. But my husband needs God's power and protection on his life when times are tough and when the path is smooth. I shouldn't have waited until he was under pressure to pray for him. I should be praying more than just “help my husband to have a good day”. I should be fervently praying. Satan wants to destroy the lives of God's children, and that includes my husband. (One of my contributors came up with a printable prayer calendar for your husband if you'd like to use it for some ideas of specific things to pray.)
2. Thank him.
It's easy to start taking for granted all the things my husband does. But I don't like to be taken for granted. Sure, it's my job to clean the house, make the meals, and take care of the kids all day. But that doesn't mean it's not hard work. And I sure do like it when my husband thanks me for supper and gives me some recognition for the hard work I've done that day. I'm sure some appreciation shown to my husband for the hard work he does for our family would be an encouragement to him too.
3. Encourage him.
Words of appreciation would be encouragement in and of themselves, but I can also let him know I'm praying for him, jot down words or verses of encouragement, and be excited for him when he has a great day at work. (I can also be ready with a shoulder massage and sympathetic ear when he's not had such a great day.)
4. Help him.
What can I do to take some of the load off his shoulders? Is there a responsibility around the house that I'm capable of taking care of? Sometimes I can't think of anything to do, so I simply ask him, “Is there anything I can do for you tomorrow?” Often he will have something that he's happy for me to take care of that I didn't even know he needed to do. Sometimes it's an errand to run, sometimes a bill to pay — little annoying things that hang over his head, especially when he's super busy at work and feeling the pressure of getting it all done while still having time to spend with his family.